Well, as probably most people know, Judah is home! He was able to come home a little over two weeks ago and has been doing really well. Praise God!
Today he is 5 and a half weeks old - he will be 6 weeks old on Friday. That's just crazy. He weighs in at 6 lbs 5 oz and is 19 inches in length. He had his one month well check with his ped (delayed because of when he was released from the NICU) and is overall doing wonderfully.
He eats like a champ. Since he's a preemie, he gets preemie formula added to my milk to create a high calorie, high calcium+vitamins+minerals combination. It's been nice (and different) to bottle feed a baby. The pro's are that anyone can feed him (woohoo!) but the cons are many :(
My poor little mommy heart so wants to nurse this little boy. I do nurse him twice a day right now which consists of him latching for about 20 min and somewhat eating. He's super spoiled by the bottle and can totally tell he's going to be a lazy eater when it comes to breastfeeding. On top of that, I found out today that his pediatrician recommends preemies to be on high-cal feedings until they reach a normal growth curve - usually around 6 months of age. With where Judah is at right now, it will be at least that or longer of hi-cal bottle feedings while mommy pumps. The thought of continuing in this pattern for another 5 months brings tears to my eyes.
Please pray for me as I battle and pray over this. I know that Judah's health is fully in God's hands and that however we get through this, He will provide us the strength to do so. Even if that means finishing out my supply and going from there. Judah is strong and healthy and we praise and give all the glory to God for that.
To all my formula-feeding mommy friends, I know that formula is not the end of the world. I know that you get strong healthy babies who were fed exclusively formula. I love you ladies and I fully support your decision. However, as a mommy who nursed her last two babies almost exclusively, this is so hard. BMilk is best. And the antibodies for a preemie going into (and through) RSV season can make a huge, HUGE difference. Lord, please give me strength.
Oh Abbs I know where your heart is right now, I cried and cried and cried when I was in the Hospital with Valley Fever days after Piper was born, and was met with being told that I would not be able to nurse her because of the meds I was on. But I fought for it. I did tons of research and decided I would nurse her anyway. It was a very difficult decision to make. But here we are 8 months later and I have a happy bealthy BFed little girl. I don't know what the solution is for you, if you try to nurse him before each hi-cal bottle to help with your milk production/bonding/antibodies, or what. Girl I'm praying for your heart, and your desire to have that with him. God will direct you in what is best. You'll figure out what to do. xoxo Jess
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